


five years: b side

by whenyouheldtheknife



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Gen, I'm Sorry, Implied Relationships, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Past Relationship(s), Phanfiction, Poetry, Prose Poem, Relationship(s), Sad, i'm very sorry please don't kill me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 20:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2596256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenyouheldtheknife/pseuds/whenyouheldtheknife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is a sort-of sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2575919">five years</a> but you could read them separately. a bad prose poem about the vagueness of dan & phil's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	five years: b side

**Author's Note:**

> 1) i'm actually sorry this time  
> 2) please let me know what you think!  
> 3) come say hi on [tumblr!](http://rudejolras.tumblr.com)

do you remember kissing me on the manchester eye? you were nervous and shaking beneath my flat palms on your hips so i tightened my grip on your waist and pulled you closer. 

_(you never used to push me away.)_

i asked you to move in with me and you couldn’t feel my heart shriveling like it had died in my chest during the long moment you took to say yes. i would have asked you in person but i was too scared that i would kiss you. 

i wish you wouldn’t talk to yourself when you can’t sleep. 

_(i wish you would talk to me.)_

when your wrecked voice is gasping out my name while your body’s pushing up against mine i can taste my heart in my throat as it pulses erratically. 

i hated myself for knocking on your door when i couldn’t sleep but you kept letting me in and i thought you were okay, that we were okay. 

_(i can’t remember when we were.)_

don’t touch me. you look at me like i’ve crafted the stars and it’s making me cringe. 

my drink turned to lead in my stomach when you touched that other guy at the party, but you were kissing him while i watched to prove that you were over me. 

_(it proved that i wasn’t over you.)_

i can hear you pacing in your bedroom when you think i’ve fallen asleep; i can hear you talking with yourself and my name keeps coming up. 

i can also hear you say my name when it’s a bitten-back moan while you touch yourself when you think i can’t hear you. 

_(these walls have always been thin.)_

my parents keep asking about you when i go back home to visit and the disappointment on their faces when i change the subject tells me more than i ever needed to know. 

you fell asleep on me when we were taking the tube home after a late night out and i could feel your heartbeat syncing up with mine. 

_(in that moment, i had never felt so wanted.)_

we haven’t fucked since the time on the couch when you came crying shivering sobbing out my name beneath me; i tried to hold you afterwards but you left to shower alone. 

_(don’t leave me.)_

every hour is long when i can hear your muffled sobs when my feet shuffle to a stop outside of your door at three in the morning. 

_(...i remember kissing you on the manchester eye.)_


End file.
